RETRO REVIEW: THE COZY PRE-Y2K NOSTAGIA OF 'LAKE PLACID'
1999 was a pretty bonkers year in American history (and yes, I’m fully aware that this is being said in the year 2022 where there is an ongoing pandemic, mass shootings, and the overturning of women’s body autonomy). Looking back on it with all the cozy nostalgia of a pair of Ugg boots, this was the year where the biggest issue was whether our blueberry iMacs would bite the big one once midnight rolled around on January 1st and how to combat the relentless earwig that was Santana and Rob Thomas’ song, “Smooth.”
It was a solid year for the horror genre as well, with hits like THE SIXTH SENSE, SLEEPY HOLLOW, AUDITION, and the indie hit THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT ushering in the new horror trends for the Y2K era. Creature features were also helping to put Hilfiger-clad butts in the seats, with the release of the hit ANACONDA two years prior, and DEEP RISING the year after that. Sharks were back in the horror game in 1999, with the release of DEEP BLUE SEA and SHARK ATTACK, so when a little film about a giant croc written by Ally McBeal scribe DAVID E. KELLEY came out in the summer of that iconic year, it became a huge summer hit, easily more than doubling its $27 million budget.
Twenty-three years after its release, LAKE PLACID continues to weave its magic with horror fans as a fun, silly, mess of a blockbuster that is as entertaining as it is baffling.
In LAKE PLACID, A rag-tag team of investiGATORS look into a rash of killer croc attacks at a small lake in Maine.
PLOT:
When a mysterious creature violently kills a man in a Maine lake, Jack Wells (Bill Pullman), the local game warden, looks into the bizarre case, along with Sheriff Hank Keough (Brendan Gleeson) and visiting paleontologist Kelly Scott (Bridget Fonda). Looking for clues in a tooth that the beast left behind, Kelly and the others eventually locate the monster, a massive and vicious reptile eager to devour anything in its path.
A croc with a killer appetite roams the peaceful waters in LAKE PLACID.
KILLS:
It wouldn’t be a late 90’s summer blockbuster without an opening kill, and LAKE PLACID sets the tone for what we can expect from this film right off the bat (which is essentially a Benny Hill episode with a giant crocodile - trust me, watch the LAKE PLACID trailer over the song “Yakety Sax” and it lines up BEAUTIFULLY). Right off the bat, we get only a small glimpse at the croc as he attacks a sheriff’s deputy who was diving in the lake as part of an investigation. It should be said right here that the lake in question is not even named Lake Placid, which, if you’re going to actually name your movie LAKE PLACID, takes some fucking big, swinging, doorknockers to do. The filmmakers explain this away by one of the characters stating: “Someone wanted to call it Lake Placid, but it was already taken.” Hey, I'm no limnologist, but I don’t think that’s how naming lakes works. Pretty sure lakes in different states can have the same name (I know I’ve been to at least two Eagle Lakes in two different states). Regardless, the name isn’t the only puzzling decision the filmmakers decided to make, because for a movie about a giant killer crocodile, there are few kills. Yes, we got the deputy in the beginning who was basically chomped in half, which was pretty great, but then for some reason, they decide to back away from the blood and guts for the rest of the film (likely to placate as many movie-goers as possible). It’s a shame because what they did decide to replace all those kills with is a slapstick comedy, which, though definitely entertaining, seems like an opportunity wasted considering the amount of SFX work that went into creating the croc (but more on that later).
There are some obvious references to the horror classic, ALLIGATOR (1980) with many of the jokes in the film, one of which was a scene in ALLIGATOR when Robert Forster jokes about a gator victim having a “pretty small casket” when they only found his big toe. The quip is mirrored in PLACID when Oliver Platt’s character asks Brendan Gleeson’s character if a toe they discovered is the man that was killed, and Gleeson drily replies, “he seemed taller.” While it does feel like director Steve Miner was trying to go for a slightly campy horror feel for this film, there just wasn’t enough bloody oomph to stand up against a film like ALLIGATOR, which had solid acting, steady pacing, and a mechanical alligator that looked a lot better for a B-horror film of that time had any right to. Plus, it had lots of kills - a whopping 11 people - to PLACID’s meager two (I’m not counting the bear or the cows, people) and ALLIGATOR’s screenwriter, John Sayles, even manages to slip some political takes on the American class system, the media, and even vivisection into his reptilian classic in the process. Not bad for a movie about a killer alligator.
When my mom said I could have mac-n-cheese for dinner as a kid.
VISUALS/SFX:
Arguably, one the best aspects of LAKE PLACID (besides Betty White obvs), is the croc itself, and Stan Winston’s team (along with the VFX folks at Digital Domain) did a pretty amazing job crafting the giant creature. Just for reference, the croc in the film is supposed to be 30ft long, and the largest croc recorded in captivity measured 20ft 3in.
Visual effects and SFX work were a major tag-team effort for the film, with Digital Domain CGI artists studying documentary footage of these animals, working with master prop maker Stan Winston and his crew to create an animatronic creature built to scale, which was then re-sculpted and manipulated digitally to create all the intricate articulations to make the croc seem as real as possible. The monster was mechanized through hydraulics and painted with a coat of water-resistant urethane by effects technicians, who had to wear full-body clean air suits to protect themselves from the toxic chemicals. The effects crew even took the mechanized puppet to a lake in the Los Angeles National Forest and dropped it in a lake to test its efficacy in water. "That thing actually swam," said Richard Landon, who was the lead on the design team for PLACID. "Its head left/right and tail left/right functionalities were enough to make it propel itself through the water. We went into this show with the full knowledge that water always wins…that has become my personal motto: Water Always Wins. Water will always break something. Water is the universal solvent. Superglue breaks down in it. Urethane breaks down in it. Paint breaks down in it. Water is a nightmare -- and we were in it for a full six months on this show."
Honestly, I don’t know what my point is in relaying all this information except bless our special and visual effects teams in films. Really. The amount of work and effort they put into things like a 30 foot crocodile that we don’t even fully see until 43 freaking minutes into this film is not recognized enough, and I’m sorry, even though PLACID is an undeniably fun film, we don’t get our full fill of the croc until a whopping 43 MINUTES IN! I mean, Bruce the Shark was breaking down every five minutes on the set of JAWS, but yet he still managed to dominate the screen time (the croc in PLACID gets only 3 minutes, 43 seconds of screen time in the whole film). I guess my point is, that not unlike Christopher Walken on SNL, I just wanted more cowbell (if cowbell meant croc). I won’t lie though, when the croc finally shows itself fully, charging out of the water to snatch a giant bear that’s just busted out of the woods towards our protagonists, it's an absolutely incredible moment.
The late, great Betty White as Mrs. Bickerson suffers absolutely no fools in LAKE PLACID.
PERFORMANCES:
So before we can even get our first good look at our giant croc buddy, we have to sit through 43 minutes of a bunch of pretty wretched David E. Kelley dialogue, including such bon monts as “Law enforcement is dangerous isn’t it? And you have such wonderful boobs,” and “Oh God, we forgot to pack feminine napkins.” Actually, I want that last line to be put on a t-shirt underneath a picture of the giant croc.
All of the rote characters are here: the pretty but whiny paleontologist (Bridget Fonda), the gruff and skeptical law enforcement figure (Brendan Gleeson), the beta-male, Fish and Game love interest (Bill Pullman), and the sexist wild card expert (Oliver Platt). Fonda (who seemed to be EVERYWHERE in the 90’s) is downright annoying in this, yelling and whining at everyone like a less charismatic Scarlett O’Hara and falling clumsily out of everything. In fact, this movie should have been called “Bridget Fonda Falling Out of Various Modes of Transportation.” She is a mewling shrew to everyone and even remarks that she doesn’t belong in Maine (where the film takes place) because, “I have good hygiene, I’m not welcome.” As a previous years-long resident of Maine, I took complete umbrage with that line and immediately hoped she would be pelted to death by bottles of Moxie and Stephen King novels while lobsters pulled her toenails out. Pullman for his part looks like he wandered into every shot wanting a “ba-ba” from his mommy and a nap. The chemistry between him and Fonda is so non-existent, not even the James Webb Telescope could capture it. Platt is doing what he does best: making sexist remarks and bringing the comedic zingers to the film, often to the expense of Gleeson’s sheriff, who seems as stunned as all of us that he’s even in this film.
But without a doubt, the person who absolutely SAVES this film is the iconic, the legendary, the amazing Betty White as Mrs. Delores Bickerman, who we find out, has been feeding the giant croc ever since her husband died (ironically at the hands of the croc in question). Mrs. Bickerman has absolutely no time for these fools who are here to capture the animal, telling the sheriff at one point, “if I had a dick, this is where I would tell you to suck it.” Mrs. Bickerman is all punk anarchy energy and I’m 100 percent here for it. She gives absolutely no fucks about this team trying to capture the animal and instead, does everything she can to undermine their efforts, even setting up a sequel at the end of the film by feeding some tiny baby crocs who we realize are the spawn of the giant croc and its mate (yep there were two of them!).
Bill Pullman, Bridget Fonda, and Brendan Gleeson in LAKE PLACID.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:
It may seem like I’ve been talking smack about LAKE PLACID this whole review, but it’s not a terrible film, at least in the way in which you want to throw your remote and upend a coffee table. It accomplishes what it sets out to do as a popcorn summer blockbuster, creating something silly, fun, and entertaining that has undeniable re-watch potential. There’s a reason they made five sequels to this thing - watching giant reptiles attack stupid, annoying people is fun as hell. But they could have gone waaaayyy more “all in '' on the kills and gore and still had it be a fun and campy horror film. However, LAKE PLACID has its own appeal, able to sit comfortably amongst its blockbuster contemporaries like DEEP BLUE SEA and THE MUMMY, the kind where you just want to shut out the Faustian hellscape of our current political climate, pop on a bucket hat, crack open a Frutopia, and snuggle into the abject ridiculous fun of it all.
The giant croc takes the bovine bait in LAKE PLACID.
THE GORY DETAILS:
Filming of the movie had to be postponed due to poor weather conditions. Director Steve Miner took on directing duties for HALLOWEEN H2O while he was waiting to shoot LAKE PLACID.
While the film is supposed to be in Maine, there are no scenes filmed in Maine.
Betty White's character admits to killing her husband by hitting him in the head with a skillet. On Boston Legal, Betty White also plays a character who kills a man by hitting him in the head with a skillet.
MY RATING: 7/10
WHERE TO WATCH:
YouTube, Sling, Philo, Amazon Prime, Google Play, Apple TV.
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