Five by Five: “Satanic Hispanics" May Just Usher In A New Golden Age For Horror Anthologies
Anthology horror films are curious beasts. They’re known for having segments ranging in quality from classic to abysmal. Even fans of “Creepshow” (arguably the best anthology horror film of all time, if not in the top 5), have segments they rank last without thinking twice. This doesn’t mean they’re bad, or even that they lessen the film as a whole. Weak entries are priced into all anthology films, and they don’t stop them from being classics. There aren’t many exceptions to this rule, but “Satanic Hispanics” doesn’t contain a single bad segment.
New from Dread, “Satanic Hispanics” (God I love that name, despite the lack of Satan in the film) contains a wraparound segment that connects 4 other shorts, all directed by established Hispanic horror directors. Of course, some are better than others, but they’re all so different, the change of pace each one brings is welcome. Let’s break them down by entry:
Ramirez as the titular “Traveler.”
The wraparound segment starts with police discovering the aftermath of a mass murder in Texas. The lone survivor is “The Traveler,” a mysterious man who tells the cops they have 90 minutes to let him go or else the audience will never guess the segment is directed by Mike Mendez. Mendez flies his gonzo flag by the end, but draws us in by appearing to make a police procedural starring Efren Ramirez (“Napoleon Dynamite” and yes, “Tammy & the T-Rex”). Ramirez travels (sorry) between segments, with the hapless detectives (Greg Grunberg of “Heroes” and the late great character actor Sonya Eddy) on the case.
In this house, we play with toys that DON’T open metaphysical doorways.
The first full entry is “También Lo Vi” by Demián Rugna (“Terrified’). Rugna punctuates the short, about a Rubik’s Cube whiz who figures out how to open a door to another dimension, with some gnarly practical effects. It drags a little in its set-up, but one can only guess it keeps Rugna in directorial shape until he makes his next feature. While it wasn’t a favorite, it could easily become someone else’s.
El Vampiro (Hemky Madera) needs to get a watch.
My favorite of the quintet is “El Vampiro” by Eduardo Sánchez (“The Blair Witch Project"). “What We Do in the Shadows” has a monopoly on vampire humor at the moment, but Sánchez (from a script by “Clown in a Cornfield’s Adam Cesare) crafts a hilarious short about a vampire (the always-hilarious Hemky Madera) who forgets about daylight savings on Halloween and has 15 minutes to get home to his exasperated wife (Patricia Velasquez from “The Mummy”) before the sun rises. It’s a madcap comedy that has Madera trying to get to safety as time, and eventually his dignity, runs out.
Come to Mama Tierra.
Next up is the Mexican folk horror of ”Nahuales” by Gigi Saul Guerrero (“Bingo Hell”). Nahuales are people who shapeshift into their inner animals. This segment lasts long enough to establish a family of the titular creatures, but it’s their matriarch Mama Tierra (Gabriela Ruiz), that stands out the most. You may have seen her heavily in the promo material, rightfully so as she looks iconic right out of the gate, but the truncated length of the segment makes her only so frightening. I wanted more beyond the introduction of the concept, but Guerrero digs into fertile soil here.
Jonah Ray Rodrigues is not gonna cook it, but yes, he will order it.
How best to describe “The Hammer of Zanzibar?” Alejandro Brugés (“Witching and Bitching,” “Juan of the Dead”) pulls the rug out from under us with a tale that unfolds in a unique and surprising way. It starts with a guy (Jonah Ray Rodrigues) meeting his ex-girlfriend (Danielle Chaves) to deliver a heap of exposition, then quickly changes to something more in Brugés’s wheelhouse. Then it changes again. It’s a blast, figuratively and literally.
Each entry of “Satanic Hispanics” is chock full of so many ideas that for the first time ever, I was curious about how each short would do as a full-length feature. Not all of them hit all of their marks, but they make for an impressive stew of Hispanic horror.
Between this film and the resurgence of the “V/H/S” franchise, it’s time to acknowledge we’re in a golden age of anthology horror.
Más, por favor.
“Satanic Hispanics” is in theaters this Friday September 15th. For more, head to the official website.
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